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but what do I do about missing them
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Hello, my friends and those who don't know me, and friends who are no longer in this world but watching over me from somewhere! I'm not sure why you're reading this, but I'm spending some time in my dorm doing nothing for the first time in a while. I miss everyone so much. I shouldn't think about this too much, but since this is the first time I'm feeling this way in a month, I think it's okay.
As you know, I'm in Hong Kong right now. I still can't believe that I'm in Hong Kong and living a university life! Everything was full of uncertainty before I came here. I think I was really lucky, but I'm so grateful to the friends and juniors who spent the last two years with me at international school. Especially... I can't mention their name, but I want to sincerely thank the friend from China who motivated me to write here.
I'm going through a lot in a new country, on new land. It's even more moving because this is the first time I'm living completely alone and freely after living a busy life studying. When I lived in Korea and China, it was difficult to live as my true self, without hiding or adding anything. There was an image that people saw (though I wasn't the type to care much about it), but there seemed to be a situation where I was required to maintain a good image due to the closed nature of society. There are closed societies here too. For example, the atmosphere where Koreans get together saying 'we're all one!' But now I live completely alone, so I can be freer! I'm me, so I've come to think that I don't necessarily need other people's approval. Though it's contradictory that I can't really say in detail what I'm going through. Anyway, going through various things, there's a thrill that comes from fully understanding what kind of person I am and living accordingly. I was born this way originally...
Experiencing university for the first time in my life, it's a much freer environment than I thought! After meeting many friends from other schools at a hackathon, I felt that HKU has a more free and open feeling compared to other Hong Kong schools. So I'm actually grateful to HKUST, the only university that rejected me... At that time, having only attended international school for 0.9 years, my qualifications were lacking, and if I had been accepted, I would have acted rashly and wouldn't have come to HKU. HKU is a really good school. Though life in Hong Kong itself isn't always good. The downside is that there are too many people. There are many students, and tourists come in droves, so maybe the school is small compared to the number of people.
Life in Hong Kong isn't so bad. The food is too expensive and doesn't suit my taste well, which is a problem... but the rest seems okay. From the first day, I met various people from different countries, and they're all really good people. I also made a Korean friend who shares some similar background with me, so we have a lot in common. I was having a really hard time mentally, so I'm glad I have a friend to rely on.
No matter how hard it gets, filling my days with time spent with friends and travel leaves no room for depression. If I don't stay busy, I feel like I'll collapse. Next week is reading week, a short break, and I'll probably try to fill my time by going on a trip. Otherwise, I think I'll become too dangerous...
I miss everyone so much, but I need to move forward. I don't think I can just hold onto the past. Borrowing the words of the protagonist from a Netflix series who was so similar to my situation (almost identical except for the details)...
I'm ready to stop missing everybody. I'm ready to start experiencing new things. I want my own adventure - Kitty Covey
I don't think I'll have time to miss people anymore, so I'll say one last time that I miss you. I missed you all. Thank you for cheering me on!